Catching the Tooth Fairy Copyright © Colin Whyles 2010
(or The Pet Fairy)

I decided to catch the tooth fairy
She would make a rare kind of pet
So I waited until it was dark
And an intricate trap I had set

I placed my tooth by my bedside
Tied to a very fine thread
With the other end tied to a matchstick
Propping up a jam jar by my bed

Then when the tooth fairy came by
She would catch her foot on the thread;
The matchstick would fall to the floor,
And the jar would fall over her head.

I went to sleep quite excited
I knew my plan would succeed
And when I awoke in the morning
I would see the results of my deed

Imagine my surprise and annoyance
When I woke to find my tooth gone
And a note saying "I don't need the twine
Or the matchstick or jam jar. So long."

The tooth fairy was obviously sneaky
But I still had more teeth to go
So I set another much better trap
I will have a pet fairy, you know.

I decided to make somewhere to keep her
a home full of excellent things
A fairy dust preparation station
And an exercise machine for her wings

But first I had to catch her
So a trail of sweets I surmised
Would lead her to trip some elastic
And Snap! She'd be caught by surprise!

I went to bed in excitement
She couldn't escape, I was sure;
In the morning I'd have a pet fairy
And my friends would be jealous and sore.

When I awoke in the morning
There was a note in the tooth fairy's hand
Saying "I only eat wholesome non-sugary things,
Or you'd hear a great Thump! when I land!"

I needed a trap that was better,
Then something my Father had said
Made me rush off down the garden
To get wood, nails and glue from the shed.

I hammered away in a frenzy
Constructing a maze full of loops,
With all sorts of traps full of treacle and glue
And a sign saying "This way to the tooth->"

I placed my tooth deep, deep inside it
And settled down once more to sleep;
In the morning I'd have a pet fairy,
A friend to play with and keep.

In the morning I jumped up excited
To set my new pet fairy free
Imagine my shock to see Mummy instead,
Her hand stuck in my maze, and not pleased.

I never did catch the tooth fairy,
And neither has anyone else;
Now my teeth have all gone I can't try again,
But I'm glad that she's free and, they say, in good health.