Undies, Intelligently Speaking Copyright © Colin Whyles 2008

Who would have thought
That since last buying undies
They had become intelligent?

Who wants undergarments
Deciding that they are too hot and so cooling them down
Or that they are too cold and warming them up?
Especially with the dubious warmth
Previously extracted

Consider your reaction
When you put your nether-things on
And they burst out laughing.
I do not recommend responding
"Wot are you larfin' at?"
Entering into a conversation with ones draws
Should be kept brief.
Obviously.

Never put two pairs of intelligent undies
Close together in a drawer.
A philosophical discussion between two pairs of knickers
Could lead to dangerous consequences.
Remember who is the Master.

Some dinosaurs had a brain in their head
And one in their tail.
You too can now replicate this.
Almost.

Do not get into an argument
With your intelligent underwear.
They have a firm grip on something close to you

What woman could resist
Buying her other half a pair of intelligent pants
Just to see his IQ instantly double
Whether they are on his head or not?
At least you could plausibly claim
Not to be totally in control of your actions