Vacancy by Richard J Whiting
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Vacancy Copyright © Richard Whiting 2011
Why have I applied for this job?
Well, I like the Company;
Everything it stands for.
Iʼm not here to make friends.
The workforce? Iʼm in control.
You see that one there
Through the glass?
His wifeʼs ill, canʼt work
So heʼs desperate for hours.
Heʼll do anything I want;
Iʼm Billy Smart.
Heʼs the elephant.
Her? Oh sheʼs no good;
Old Manʼs down with dementia;
Runs around to get home
Before the place burns down.
Had a few knocks in her van,
Sick recordʼs on the brink,
An easy target! Tick, tick, tick!
That one? Yes. Heʼs part-time,
Covering a chap with cancer.
A real dilemma that case.
The guy had a perfect record
But heʼs just broken through the
Acceptable Absence Level.
Somehow I couldnʼt write the letter
And Iʼm normally good with words.
Problem Solving? Oh yeah! I e-mailed my boss
And he wrote the letter.
Figured no-one knew him at our place
So the blame wouldnʼt fall on me.
Had my name circulated at Head-Office
As Cost-Cutting Champion.
I posted his cards today,
Canʼt wait for the quarterly bonus.
Pride in my work? Oh yes.
See that bloke there?
(Reads in his break, proper weirdo.)
He says to me the other day
Are you proud of yourself?
Kind of nice of him I thought;
But heʼs a bit strange as I say,
Told me I should take a look at myself.
Mind you, you know how my nameʼs Ken?
Well, he always calls me Dorian.
I mean Dorian for goodnessʼ sake, Dorian!
Dorian?
Poetry Aloud Workshops
Fri, 22/04/2011 - 20:57 — R J WhitingJoe has written eloquently on the latest Poetry Aloud Workshop; in fact he has captured the essence of all of the meetings held thus far over the last few months on the website.
For anyone new to Poetry Aloud, or who has yet to attend a Workshop, let me offer this encouragement to attend.
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Poetry Aloud. Creating magic
Wed, 30/03/2011 - 20:33 — R J WhitingI never fail to be thrilled by the diversity of the poetry both in form and in subject which occurs at the meetings of Poetry Aloud. Every month seems to throw up something more than just a little bit special. Take March 2011 for instance. I am a regular dog walker on Boxing Day to Felixstowe Ferry, so Stephen 's poem was alive with everything I love about that particular experience. The poem about the Moors Murders also struck a double note with me. I am a child of the 1960's and so a contemporary of the killed and missing child/children. I once attended a football match where A.F.C.
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Comments
I really like...
I really like the way the pace of this poem matches the horrendous Ken’s way of speaking and how each example he gives reveals a bit more about him (“I’m Billy Smart He’s the elephant†is shocking and convincing!). Then when you realise that the guy who reads in his breaks is saying what he thinks and having his own private joke it’s positively liberating. Jen